Hello, my name is caleb Eastman, I am a cheap American knock-off from yahtzee in zero punctuation because while Yahtzee is a fucking genius, hes god damn retarded when it comes to deciding for himself what games are good and which aren’t
Because of the minor detail that he doesn’t know what he’s fucking talking about, and because he refuses to review any game that requires more than one person, (which is like 99% of them) I decided that there needs to be a less entertaining – less humorous less stupidly accented alternative while we’re waiting for his next episode to come out.
Without further ado – World of Warcraft
When I first sat down to play world of warcraft I thought I was in for a treat because if an mmorpg can get 9million slightly faggoty guys 3hot chicks and still be older than republican racism it can’t be wrong.
I have never been more fucking wrong in my life –
From what I can tell the entire point of the game is to make you supremely unhappy and to teach you that there is never enough in life. Every time I spend HOURS to gain a level or get a piece of armor, I promptly learn that there is a higher level and a better piece of armor that I can’t have because I’m just not good enough. And after I get every level and piece of armor available, I find out that apparently I made a heretofore unknown bad decision in the first five seconds of the game and chose a “nerfed” character class
Don’t get me wrong -I enjoyed being able to customize my character until I learned that no matter what I made, whether it be a fucking hippy priest or a stoned lawyer, I learn that I will always get my ass kicked by someone who chose a better combination of hair styles or whatever.
Up to this point, I have been belaboring under the false impression that games were supposed to be fun but apparently I was wrong. You are theoretically supposed to have enclopedic knowledge of the game before you start so you know to be a shadow priest or some such, and if that’s good game design then blizzard never makes a mistake.
Frankly, this game makes me feel like I was in an accounting class that never ended and the teacher became more insensible the longer it went.
Incidentally If you buy WoW, be fully prepared to have your ass handed to you on a golden plate by people that have been playing for the last 3 years without stopping to eat, sleep or pee, and whats more, you get to pay for it, monthly, as well as initially, and for all that, what you end up paying for is a piece of shit that makes you wish you were dead.
